I recall a not so fine moment in my early leadership journey. I was speaking to my region of approximately 100 salespeople and leaders at a national meeting. The team had struggled the year before and I was passionately exhorting them to achieve our goal of being number 1 in our division.

The final line in my talk: “Show me second place and I will show you first loser!” Yeah, not the best ……

Many leaders wrestle with a question as I did early in my career: “Am I being too hard or too soft on my team?”

Some days, leaders push so hard they leave their team in the dust. Other days, they swing the other way and try to play buddy. Truth is, neither one works on its own. Great leadership lives in the tension between the two.

Here’s what I’ve learned through the years: Push without care? That’s bullying. Care without push? That’s babysitting.

To build something that lasts, a leader needs to find the balance between relationship and demand. That means holding the standard and at the same time lifting people up.

Your job isn’t to be the tough. And it sure isn’t to be the softy. As a leader, your job is to push, believe, and support day in and day out.

That’s leadership.

Leadership Lesson: Balance relationship and demand. Hold the standard AND show you truly care!

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